So,here I am ,doing a fancy job,staying in a good apartment,eating awesome food,wearing sexy wardrobe and still happiness does not seem to touch my heart.Probably, I have always looked in the wrong direction.Happiness is not from anyone and anything but from you within.And I gotta confess ,it does not seem to come any near to me.Probably,we can describe happiness as being the state of thinking nothing,as in except everything which we should not carry with us in our hearts.
A broken heart is like a mirror,which still reflects but its never the same.Oh! I must tell you here that I am not nostalgic about any person in my life,even those who were close to me and so,this broken heart thing is related to not my emotion,for anyone but myself.The only damage that has been done to me as an individual is that over the years,only the sense of faith and the ability to trust has reduced.Its like burning dry wood ..once set on fire will leave nothing but burn down everything to ashes.You feel the heat and the flame but the wood that keeps it alive has been consumed.
Its difficult to explain what runs through an individuals mind when they do something they know might be personal & intimate for another individual,and might create expectations;But then,later on,you just turn your face away.Your motive has been fulfilled.But ,My love ,why do u fail to understand, money and material is to be used and people to be loved.But you just went the tipsy turvy way.I don’t have any specific grudge for anyone,just sheer disappointment to have wasted so much time and my patience on people not worth it.Kind of,a bitter sweet experience.
Or may be I am just an emotional buffoon, talking out my failures and covering them with the shield of philosophy and words.I really don’t know.I guess analyzing self decisions and your own actions and their result is not the easiest but then simply trying to understand what human nature is.
And most important,why thinking all this today.Sometimes, when you strangely come across people you never imagine to meet; then, you think that may be life has something more interesting to offer than it did."Expectations hurt " something I will never forget in life,so probably just live it as it comes.I am so confused and not sure to open my heart and give my trust again or not.I feel that I am being liked and loved but then I guess my heart has always lied to me.Oh !! it’s such a strange but amazingly interesting point of life.
"Love is of all passions the strongest, for it consumes simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses.”